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22 October 2010 19 Comments

I have deliberately avoiding this blog for a while.  I have been back for 50 days now.  When I think about the Race, it still feels like I just got home.  I still feel like I am finding my footing and getting a grasp on this reality called “Home”. The past three and a half months has flown by, and it still feels like I am waking up in Cambodia getting ready to teach English.  The reason I have been avoiding this blog is because every time I see it, I am reminded of the incredible year the Lord gave me.  The World Race was the most amazing thing I have ever done.  It wasn’t just a yearlong missions trip to me – I felt the race become me.  I felt myself mesh with each experience I had this past year, so much so that I can truly say that I left part of myself in Romania…and Turkey…and Kenya…and Thailand…and the list goes on and on.  And the Lord blessed me with the most amazing girls I have ever met with my life.  My heart is permanently fused with these incredible women of God.  So how do I even begin to go one with life, while so much of myself is scattered all over the world?  Do I try pry each piece out of every country?  Do I try to pull away from my friendships so that I can attempt to reassemble the heart that the Lord so tediously broke this year?  But the question I have been wrestling with since I got back is, Am I truly supposed to be whole?  I think I have finally come to realize that each part of me that I feel in another place is the piece that the Lord put there for a reason.

I planned and prepared for coming home as best I could.  While on the Race I took tons of time to try to process what happened the past year, and try to prepare myself for coming home.  And now, 50 days later, I feel like I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface.  It has taken me a while to come to grips with the fact that the year is over, and I now live in America, with a permanent address.  I have spent the past three months missing the Race and the amazing people that I traveled with.  And now, I think I am finally ready to try and do them justice.  I think I am at the place where I can write more about what I experienced in each country, and try to paint a picture for my readers of exactly what this year entailed.  I was talking with a friend the other week, and he mentioned that he missed the post on my blog that summed the year up.  And it’s true, I haven’t gotten there yet.  I haven’t been able to put into words exactly what happened to me this year, but I am finally ready to try.  So I thank everyone who follows this blog regularly, and for all of your prayers and support over this year.  I truly could not have gone without each one of you.  And thank you for your patience as I try to find my footing on this new land called Home.

I am home now.

I am here.

And I am ready to share it with you.


  • Christy said:

    I think I have finally come to realize that each part of me that I feel in another place is the piece that the Lord put there for a reason.

    I think that is beautiful. And I think He does it on purpose. Once He is knitted into our heart we cannot be the same. Your journey over the last year has left your profoundly changed….in such a beautiful way that at times it hurts…. in a good way…if that is possible ;)

    I cannot wait to read what you write as your process this amazing year of your journey.


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