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Complete Dependence

23 February 2010 82 Comments

The World Race program talks about the different steps many racers go through to get to the point of Kingdom Empowerment.  They say the steps are abandonment, brokenness, dependence, and finally empowerment.  I feel like I reached abandonment in Turkey.

This week I have completely understood what they mean by dependence.  Tim and Paul, our team leaders had to go to Kampala, the capital of Uganda to get some work done for next month.  They left Ashley Higgins, an amazing woman of God and videographer, and me in charge.  I was honored for the position, but a little worried.  I have no clue how to lead as far as AIM programming goes, much less in the bush of Africa.  Nevertheless, off Tim & Paul went, and up Ashley and I steped to lead the group of 12.  Our week was scheduled for us to travel to two different Bush towns and work with local pastors there.  We packed up on Monday and arrived late that afternoon.  After a quick meeting with the pastor, we went right into house-to-house evangelism.  Our schedule for the next few days was: Up with the sun, quick breakfast, then teaching at local schools all morning, break for lunch, then house-to-house until dinner, finally finishing the night with a crusade or a showing of the Jesus film.  Now, as excited as I was to have tangible ministry this month, I had no idea we would be having as much or as strenuous as we did.  I am learning that ministry takes a LOT out of you.  By the time lunch came around each day, we were completely exhausted….It takes a lot of energy to keep the attention of an entire elementary school.  When it came time to evangelize each day, I was completely spent.  I had literally no energy at all.  I remember the first day stuttering and stumbling over my words as I attempted to relate the Gospel to a Muslim woman.  I was completely weak.  But amazingly, it was in those moments that God did a miracle.

I was utterly spent – at the end of my own strength – after countless confusing and stressful meetings as a leader, and hours of ministry, I could no longer go on.  It was there that God met me.  I heard him say, “Lean on me Jennifer, my yoke is strong”.  This week, I learned the meaning of complete dependence.  When I have absolutely nothing else to lean on, that is when God can begin to move.  There were so many prayers prayed that I don’t remember what was said, so many people touched and I have no idea how – other than the power of God.  He worked through me when I was at my weakest.  I think he was able to truly work in the lives of others because I was no longer in the picture, I was completely set aside and all ministry was completely God.  I love that.  God wants to get us to a place where we are completely dependent on him so that He can be the one working.  I hear him whisper to us all, “Lay down your own strength, and trust Me…I am able.”


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